


Phil Lester & the Downfall of Dateable London Men

by idkspookystuff



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, D/s elements, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, M/M, Making Out, Non-youtuber Dan, Safe Sane and Consensual, Sex Toys, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, power bottom dan, safe sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 13:20:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15558615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkspookystuff/pseuds/idkspookystuff
Summary: Phil’s a YouTuber who’s certain he’ll never find love. Dan sends penis enlargement emails and wants to change Phil’s mind.





	Phil Lester & the Downfall of Dateable London Men

**Author's Note:**

> So my AO3 has always been a place where I hosted content I'm very proud of, and lately, for some reason, I haven't posted any d & p fanfiction so here we are. I'm very proud of this absolute monstrosity of a fanfic and I hope that you enjoy it as well.
> 
> This fic was actually written as a fill for a prompt on [my d & p blog](http://www.gorgeousdan.tumblr.com) which you can follow [here](http://www.gorgeousdan.tumblr.com). Please check it out and consider giving it a follow because I've put three years into that blog and I'm very proud of it.
> 
> If you want to check out the original prompt (spoilers) you can check it out [here](http://gorgeousdan.tumblr.com/post/176609338291/prompt-please-could-you-write-a-fic-where-dan). To reblog this fic on Tumblr, click [here](http://gorgeousdan.tumblr.com/post/176609312491/phil-lester-the-downfall-of-dateable-london-men).
> 
> Please, please comment if you like this fic! I read and reply to every single one and it makes my entire day when I see a comment in my inbox. 
> 
> Thank you so much for all of your support. I love you a lot.
> 
> \- Seb
> 
> p.s. as always, this fic is dedicated to my gorgeous muse [Josie](http://www.tveitball.tumblr.com). she'll probably never read this but, on the off-chance she does, thanks for inspiring me every day. everything i do is dedicated to you <3

“I swear to god, every good guy in London is taken or dead,” Phil rants to PJ over the phone. He’s curled up in bed, his pajamas on, scrolling through his email as he talks.

Tonight had been  _another_  disaster date. James seemed nice, he really did. He was tall and he was cute and he laughed at all of Phil’s jokes at the right time. But then James let it slip that he partook in the furry community. Phil tried not to judge, really, he did, but his friendly questions about the furry community led James to invite him to a furry rave. A quick text to PJ in the bathroom got him out of what would have been the end of his life, probably, but also led to this rather embarrassing phone call explaining everything.

“Untrue,” PJ says. “I’m a good guy in London and I’m neither taken nor dead.”

“Nor gay,” Phil retorts.

PJ sighs over the phone. This is how a lot of their phone calls go. “What about girls. You’re bisexual, aren’t you?”

Girls are no different. Last week, Phil went on a date with a girl named Maria who was adorable and funny. When they got back to Phil’s apartment and tried to kiss her, it turned out that Maria thought he was gay and was taking her out to talk about her boyfriend. She hasn’t texted him since.

“It’s all the same. No one wants to date me.” Phil deletes an email from Twitter about trending moments this week and says, “I’m going to die alone, aren’t I?”

Phil can basically hear PJ’s eye roll from here. “You’re not going to die alone, Phil,” he says. “You’re funny, you’re good looking, you’re sweet. You’re tall so you probably have a big dick-” Phil snorts “-so you’ll find someone. Trust me. This will be freaking hilarious at your wedding. Jeremy the furry rave guy.”

“James,” Phil corrects.

“James,” PJ mocks. “How pretentious.” Someone screams from over PJ’s shoulder - he’s at some kind of party - and PJ pulls the phone back to talk to them. After a minute, he comes back. “Listen, Phil. I gotta go. Chris just threw up on my mom’s shoes.”

Phil winces in sympathy. “Have fun with that one, Peej.”

“Thanks, Phil. Bye.” PJ hangs up the phone and leaves Phil alone with his thoughts and his emails.

Phil replies to a few business emails and deletes the spam. One particular spam email catches his eye. The subject is ‘TROUBLE GETTING LAID? CLICK HERE!’ Phil laughs a little to himself. He would usually just delete spam emails like this with no second thought, but he’s curious. Martyn - his older brother and YouTube manager - will kill him if he gets a virus on his laptop but-

Fuck it. Martyn has Cornelia. He can deal if he has to fix Phil’s laptop. Phil clicks.

**SUBJECT:**  TROUBLE GETTING LAID? CLICK HERE!  
**TO:**  amazingphil@gmail.co.uk  
**FROM:**  [dan@getbiggernow.co.uk  
](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=mailto%3Adan%40getbiggernow.co.uk&t=OGU3NmEyYTc5ZjFlN2E0Mjk4NTY1NWNjZDdlNzFlYzUwNTgyNzk5NywxUFpEazB4ag%3D%3D&b=t%3A-RjDN33qlFaqlLEX9TX8lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fgorgeousdan.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F176609312491%2Fphil-lester-the-downfall-of-dateable-london-men&m=1)**DATE:**  July 17th, 2018 2:33AM

Hey daddy ;)

Having trouble getting ass? Use our new pill to grow five inches GUARANTEED and the twink ass will be pouring in.

**CLICK HERE**

Phil snorts. It’s so obnoxious. He should just delete it and move on, consider himself lucky that the program didn’t somehow download a virus onto his laptop. But he’s kind of tipsy and he’s known for making bad decisions when he’s tired.

He presses reply.

**SUBJECT:**   _RE:_  TROUBLE GETTING LAID? CLICK HERE!  
**TO:**  [dan@getbiggernow.co.uk](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=mailto%3Adan%40getbiggernow.co.uk&t=OGU3NmEyYTc5ZjFlN2E0Mjk4NTY1NWNjZDdlNzFlYzUwNTgyNzk5NywxUFpEazB4ag%3D%3D&b=t%3A-RjDN33qlFaqlLEX9TX8lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fgorgeousdan.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F176609312491%2Fphil-lester-the-downfall-of-dateable-london-men&m=1)  
**FROM:**  [amazingphil@gmail.co.uk](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=mailto%3Aamazingphil%40gmail.co.uk&t=YzNmNWYwNjBlY2NkNzM4NWU1NTZjYzEzYjY1OTJiMWU0ZTYwODcyZSwxUFpEazB4ag%3D%3D&b=t%3A-RjDN33qlFaqlLEX9TX8lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fgorgeousdan.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F176609312491%2Fphil-lester-the-downfall-of-dateable-london-men&m=1)  
**DATE:**  July 17th, 2018 2:46AM

Dan (if your email handle is to be believed),

Interesting concept, but consider this:

You might make a lot more money if you make a pill that makes men less awful. Tonight, I had a date that tried to bring me to a furry rave. Even if his dick was five inches bigger than it was, I still wouldn’t have fucked him.

I hope you live somewhere with a better dating pool, because I’m currently experiencing the downfall of dateable London men.

Yours truly,

Phil.

-

Phil’s at Louise’s house when his phone buzzes with another email.

They’re filming a video where she teaches him how to be a father to her newest daughter, Pearl. It’s not going well, but he’s slowly learning. Besides, he knows that this will be content that both their audiences will eat up - especially his. For some reason, they’re really into domestic stuff. He isn’t quite sure why.

Anyway, Phil’s phone buzzes. “Oh, hold her,” he says, handing Pearl back to her mother. The young girl seems almost relieved. “I have to check that. I’m waiting on Martyn to send an email about a brand deal.”

Louise laughs. “Get that coin, sis,” she teases.

Phil opens his email and nearly drops his phone. It’s not from Martyn but Dan - the one who sent him a spam email a few days ago. Phil honestly forgot he sent that and now he turns bright red as he looks at it.

“What?” Louise asks. She looks over his shoulder before he can turn his phone off and squeals. “What?! Phil! Are you getting-” she covers Pearl’s ears “-penis enlargement pills? That seems dangerous, bub.”

“No!” Phil answers immediately. He can feel his ears burning. “I’m not getting that. I just emailed him as a joke. I didn’t expect him to actually reply!”

Louise laughs. “Right,” she says. She leans into Phil. “Well?” When Phil raises an eyebrow, she elaborates. “You have to open it! What did he say?!”

Phil reluctantly opens the email from Dan.

**SUBJECT:**   _RE:_  TROUBLE GETTING LAID? CLICK HERE!  
**TO:**  [amazingphil@gmail.co.uk](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=mailto%3Aamazingphil%40gmail.co.uk&t=YzNmNWYwNjBlY2NkNzM4NWU1NTZjYzEzYjY1OTJiMWU0ZTYwODcyZSwxUFpEazB4ag%3D%3D&b=t%3A-RjDN33qlFaqlLEX9TX8lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fgorgeousdan.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F176609312491%2Fphil-lester-the-downfall-of-dateable-london-men&m=1)  
**FROM:**  [dan@getbiggernow.co.uk](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=mailto%3Adan%40getbiggernow.co.uk&t=OGU3NmEyYTc5ZjFlN2E0Mjk4NTY1NWNjZDdlNzFlYzUwNTgyNzk5NywxUFpEazB4ag%3D%3D&b=t%3A-RjDN33qlFaqlLEX9TX8lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fgorgeousdan.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F176609312491%2Fphil-lester-the-downfall-of-dateable-london-men&m=1)  
**DATE:** July 19th, 2018 12:15PM

Phil,

I am in London, actually, and while I can’t account for the population of dateable London men, I can say our product has helped thousands of London men become fuckable and that’s really all that matters.

If you really don’t believe in the power of dick, send an email to [danielhowell@gmail.co.uk](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=mailto%3Adanielhowell%40gmail.co.uk&t=YjhmYWIxMjMxMjIzYjI5ODkzYTY1NjMwZmMxMDM2NGI5MWY5ZjFiMCwxUFpEazB4ag%3D%3D&b=t%3A-RjDN33qlFaqlLEX9TX8lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fgorgeousdan.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F176609312491%2Fphil-lester-the-downfall-of-dateable-london-men&m=1) and let’s see if I can change your mind.

\- Dan

Louise laughs when she finishes reading the email over Phil’s shoulder. “Oh my god!” she says. “You’ve got to email him. That’s so funny.”

Phil’s bright red after reading that, and honestly has no intention of starting an email chain with Dan from Get Bigger Now. “No thanks,” he says. “I’m afraid my brief romance with Dan is over.”

Louise pouts, but she’s smiling behind it. “Can I give the speech at your wedding?”

Phil rolls his eyes. “Can we just go back to filming?”

-

The thing is, Phil can’t stop thinking about it.

He’s lying awake in bed and he can’t stopping thinking about Dan’s email. He knows he shouldn’t reply. Dan’s probably ancient or attractive or weird - he works marketing for a penis enlargement company, for fucks sakes. Maybe he’s seen Phil’s YouTube videos and he’s goading Phil on to make a video exposing him. Phil can see his mom finding out about this through a YouTube video. It would be awful. It would probably ruin his entire career. It would be so embarrassing if anyone found out.

Why can’t he stop thinking about Dan’s email?

He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes and swears under his breath. It’s three in the morning and he should really be asleep. He has a YouTube meeting with Phil and a few people from his brand in the morning and he’s expected to be wide awake for it. But instead of getting the rest he needs, he’s thinking about Dan’s email.

_Let’s see if I can change your mind_  rings through his head. He swears under his breath again as he reaches down and grabs his laptop.

**SUBJECT:**  CHANGE MY MIND  
**TO:**  [danielhowell@gmail.co.uk](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=mailto%3Adanielhowell%40gmail.co.uk&t=YjhmYWIxMjMxMjIzYjI5ODkzYTY1NjMwZmMxMDM2NGI5MWY5ZjFiMCwxUFpEazB4ag%3D%3D&b=t%3A-RjDN33qlFaqlLEX9TX8lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fgorgeousdan.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F176609312491%2Fphil-lester-the-downfall-of-dateable-london-men&m=1)  
**FROM:**  amazingphil@gmail.co.uk  
**DATE:** July 22th, 2018 3:32AM

Hey! It’s Phil from the other day! Not sure if you remember me.

Phil shakes his head.  _Way_  too enthusiastic.

**SUBJECT:**  CHANGE MY MIND  
**TO:**[danielhowell@gmail.co.uk](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=mailto%3Adanielhowell%40gmail.co.uk&t=YjhmYWIxMjMxMjIzYjI5ODkzYTY1NjMwZmMxMDM2NGI5MWY5ZjFiMCwxUFpEazB4ag%3D%3D&b=t%3A-RjDN33qlFaqlLEX9TX8lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fgorgeousdan.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F176609312491%2Fphil-lester-the-downfall-of-dateable-london-men&m=1)  
**FROM:**  amazingphil@gmail.co.uk  
**DATE:**  July 22th, 2018 3:32AM

Hi,

It’s Phil from the other email. I hope your day is going well.

_Jesus,_  he isn’t emailing his auntie. He deletes the email and drafts it one last time.

**SUBJECT:** CHANGE MY MIND  
**TO:**  [danielhowell@gmail.co.uk](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=mailto%3Adanielhowell%40gmail.co.uk&t=YjhmYWIxMjMxMjIzYjI5ODkzYTY1NjMwZmMxMDM2NGI5MWY5ZjFiMCwxUFpEazB4ag%3D%3D&b=t%3A-RjDN33qlFaqlLEX9TX8lg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fgorgeousdan.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F176609312491%2Fphil-lester-the-downfall-of-dateable-london-men&m=1)  
**FROM:**  amazingphil@gmail.co.uk  
**DATE:**  July 22th, 2018 3:32AM

You can change my mind? Prove it.

Phil takes a shaky breath. He’s really gonna do it. He’s gonna email some guy that he met online. Who sells penis enlargement pills. Who tried to sell Phil a penis enlargement pill, for fucks sake.

He presses send.

-

As soon as the call connects, Phil says, “Martyn, I fucked up.”

“Oh my god, did you tweet a nude?” Martyn asks. “Because I actually have a plan in place. I knew this was bound to happen one day.”

Phil’s not sure why Martyn has a plan in place for when he accidentally tweets a nude - or how many plans Martyn has for how many danger situations - but that’s really beside the point right now. “No, I don’t need you to be my manager right now. I need you to be my older brother.”

Martyn seems to consider this for a second - he’s silent on the other end. Then, he says, “alright. What do you need?”

Phil explains the entire situation - his disaster date, the email from Dan, the email he got in response, the email he sent at three in the morning - “-and then he just sent me an email back saying he’ll be waiting for me at a bar later tonight and I have no clue what I’m supposed to do.”

“Easy,” Martyn says. “Don’t go.”

“I can’t not go!” Phil answers, his voice high and panicked.

“Why not?” Martyn asks, which, like, fair enough.

“Because,” Phil starts. He wants to say that would be rude, but he doesn’t want to sound like a child. Besides, that isn’t entirely the point. Maybe there’s a tiny part of him that thinks that Dan might be a great guy, this might be his soulmate, this would be a hilarious story to tell when people ask how he met his husband.

A bigger part of him is 99% sure Dan is a serial killer.

“Great reasoning, Phil,” Martyn says when Phil doesn’t say anything else. “Listen. You either don’t go because you think he’s gonna kill you or you go because you wanna get laid. I don’t control your life. You’re a big boy.”

Martyn hangs up not long after that, making Phil promise that he wouldn’t do anything stupid - like leave his drink unattended or invite Dan to his place without having met him first. Despite his lack of real advice, Phil feels like he knows what he has to do. If he doesn’t take Dan up on his offer, he’s going to be curious for the rest of his life.

Besides, he’s 6’2. He could probably fight off a serial killer. Probably.

-

That’s how Phil ends up at a bar at nine o’clock, sitting at a stool, with absolutely no idea of what to do.

He’s aware he’s probably dressed up a little bit too much for this - he’s wearing a button up under a suit jacket with a pair of dockers and his nicest sneakers -, but he wants to make a good first impression. For all he knows, Dan is a multi-million dollar molgal - like he’s on freaking Shark Tank or something - that just so happens to work selling penis enlargement pills.

He knows it’s unlikely but, hey, so was James inviting him to a furry rave on the first date. Phil doesn’t exactly have the best track record with single men.

Suddenly, it dawns on Phil what he’s actually here to do. He’s here to meet Dan - who works for a penis enlargement website, for fucks sake - whom he’s never met and who probably just wants to have sex with him. Not that Phil has anything against having sex - he’s 31 - but. Something just feels inherently seedy about meeting up with someone like this for sex.

Phil’s just about to leave when someone touches his arm and says, “sorry, are you Phil?”

Phil looks up at the guy. He’s fucking gorgeous, is what he is. A little taller than Phil, curly, brown hair, big brown eyes, a round face. He’s wearing a black sweater and black skinny jeans. His nails are painted black and Phil thinks he’s wearing makeup, his eyelashes curled and his cheeks glittering with highlight. He’s so beautiful that Phil forgets to answer until the man says, “sorry, are you not?”

Color rushes to Phil’s cheeks. “No, shit, I’m sorry, I am Phil.” He goes to stand but his foot gets trapped on the barstool. He trips a little and Dan catches his arm. Phil realizes Dan’s wearing heeled boots. Phil can’t even stand in his sneakers and Dan’s fucking boots have heels. “I’m so sorry. I swear to god I’m not drunk.” He stands at his full height - he was right, Dan is just a little taller than him - and asks, “a-are you Dan?”

Dan gestures to himself, “in the flesh,” he answers. “Do you want to sit down?”

They sit together and Dan orders himself a drink - a vodka martini. Phil just gets a water because he wants to be sober for this.

“So,” Phil starts. He feels really fucking awkward, his anxiety taking center stage as a result. “Your job is, uh, interesting.”

Dan laughs. “I know, it’s kind of weird,” he admits. “I don’t actually use this shit, or even like it. I just do it to make money. You’d be surprised how few people wanna say weirdly dirty shit in emails, so they actually pay pretty well. And I can do it in my apartment, so. Never have to leave the house.” He looks at Phil after a sip of his martini. “So what do you do?”

Phil goes red like he does every time he has to explain his job. “Do you, uh, know YouTube?”

Luckily for him, Dan nods. “Yeah,” he answers. “You’re a YouTuber? That’s awesome! What kind of content do you make?”

They spend the next hour just talking. As it turns out, they have a lot in common. They both like Muse, like the same TV shows, play the same video games. Dan’s amazing: he’s funny and he’s adorable and he’s a great listener. Conversation flows easily between them, as if they’ve known each other for years, like maybe it was destiny for them to meet.

It helps that Dan’s really hot. Like really, really freaking attractive.

-

So that’s how Phil winds up in Dan’s bed, his arms held over his head as Dan kisses him senseless.

He barely got to see Dan’s apartment, but from what he’s seen, it’s nice. It’s pretty modest, but it’s cute. He has a lot of black furniture, and the monotone team of the apartment somehow works for him. He has a wall of photos with his friends, which is cute; at least Phil knows he’s not a sociopath. It occurs to Phil that he really doesn’t know a lot about Dan, but the fear that revelation brings disappears with the rest of his thoughts as soon as Dan does something heavenly with his tongue.

Phil goes to move his hands to touch Dan, but Dan keeps him pinned. He pulls back from the kiss a little and smirks, sitting up in Phil’s lap, still clasping both of Phil’s hands over his head. “Uh uh, daddy,” he says in the negative. “You wanted me to change your mind and I’m gonna do it on my own terms.” He drops Phil’s hands and says, “stay.”

Phil knows he could move - Dan is the same size as him, he could fight him off if he wanted to - but he doesn’t want to. There’s something inside him that makes him want to stay, curious about what Dan will do next.

Dan peels off his sweater agonizingly slowly. Phil’s mouth waters at the sight of Dan shirtless. He isn’t ripped - Dan had established earlier that just the idea of the gym is enough to make him want to hurl - but genetics have been good to him. He’s pretty fit, with a little bit of chub at his belly that Phil wants to bite at.

Dan goes back to kissing Phil and Phil kisses him back. Dan unbuttons Phil’s jacket and then the shirt under it without breaking the kiss. He trails his fingers along Phil’s chest, pausing to twist his nipples - making Phil cry out against Dan’s mouth. Dan chuckles a little as he pulls back from the kiss, trailing hot, open mouthed kisses down Phil’s neck. He stops just under Phil’s clavicle to suck a hickey. It throbs as soon as he’s done and Phil knows it’s going to be a rather large bruise.

Dan gets Phil’s jacket and button-up off and throw them to the floor next to his bed. Phil would complain about his jacket just being thrown - it was kind of expensive, especially in the age of the Ad-pocalypse - but he could honestly care less with Dan on top of him. Dan stands to take off his skinny jeans and works Phil’s trousers off as soon as he’s done. When he sits back down in Phil’s lap, they’re both only wearing their pants.

Dan grinds down against Phil slowly, and even through the two layers of fabric, the friction is delicious. He aches to reach out and touch Dan, but Dan’s warning from earlier to keep his hands above his head rings in his ear.

“So here’s how this is gonna work,” Dan says, grinding down slowly against Phil. “I’m gonna ride you, show you exactly how good London men can be. But only if you keep your hands up there and don’t touch.” He stops moving then, “say red if you want to stop, yellow to slow down and talk. Good?”

“Very good,” Phil answers. He’s familiar with the color system - used it a lot with one of his ex-boyfriends when he was in college.

“Good,” Dan echoes. He pulls down his and Phil’s pants with no other words exchanged and reaches behind himself. Phil watches, wide-eyed, as Dan pulls out a sizable looking plug. It’s black - like the rest of his aesthetic - and has a sparkly diamond at the base. It’s very Dan, Phil decides, and also holy shit.

“H-” Phil stutters, his voice suddenly missing. “How long have you been wearing that?”

“All day,” Dan says. He reaches in his bedside table, still straddling Phil, and grabs a condom and a pack of lube. “I’ve been open all day for you, daddy,” he says, his voice low as he rips open a condom and smoothes it over Phil’s cock. “All wet and open and just waiting for my daddy to split me open on his fucking monster cock.” He spreads the lube on Phil’s cock and strokes it a few times. Phil’s hips jerk up but he doesn’t move his hands. “Good boy,” Dan praises, and a full body shudder runs through Phil. Dan hovers right over his dick and asks, “ready?”

“Yes,” Phil answers immediately. “Green.”

Dan doesn’t wait after that. He drops down immediately onto Phil’s dick, taking the air from Phil’s lungs in a solid woosh. “God, you’re huge,” Dan says. He takes a long breath and rests a hand on Phil’s chest, leaning some of his weight there to center himself. With that, he starts to bounce on Phil’s cock.

Dan’s hot and tight and Phil hasn’t gotten laid in so long - all in all, it’s really fucking good. Dan knows what he’s doing, but beyond that, he’s so fucking attractive doing it. With the hand that isn’t leaning on Phil’s chest, he jerks himself off with a tight fist. Precum spurts onto his fingers and Phil wants to lick it up so badly that it’s not even funny.

Dan adjusts the angle so that Phil’s pressing against his prostate. The effect is instantaneous - he moans loudly and grinds back against the spot. The friction isn’t the best for Phil, but Dan makes up for it by how tight he gets around him. Dan’s whole body goes red and he tightens around Phil in rhythmic bursts. His hand on his cock speeds up and, with a few more good thrusts against his prostate, Dan’s coming.

Dan coming is probably one of the most beautiful things Phil’s ever seen in his whole life. He’s covered in sweat, his hair a curly mess on top of his head, his mascara running down his face. He throws his head back and arches his back as he paints his chest white.

Dan tightens like a vice around Phil and Phil loses any semblance of self-control he has left. He grabs onto Dan’s ass with both hands and pounds up into him. Dan doesn’t reprimand him, but Phil doubts he’s in the state of mind to say anything at all, really. Phil thrusts once, twice, and then he’s coming deep in Dan’s ass, pulsing into the condom.

Neither of them say anything for a minute, instead just focusing on breathing. Then, Dan looks down at Phil and says, “you know, it’s cocks like yours that put people like me out of business.”

Phil just snorts.

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> Again, if you want to reblog this fic on Tumblr or follow my Dan and Phil blog, you can do so [here](http://gorgeousdan.tumblr.com/post/176609312491/phil-lester-the-downfall-of-dateable-london-men).
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments!
> 
> \- Seb


End file.
